Alex Song and Ten Dwarfs!

With a direct comparison of Alexandre The Great Song to Snow White, I start the blog making my intents very clear. I AM NOT A RACIST! So much so for the build-up.

This blog is about Arsene Wenger and his relationship with this strange human being from Cameroon, named Alex Song, which quite ironically makes Arsenal fans even more frustrated. HE WON'T ever be on SONG! The guy is so fucking mediocre, that the word mediocrity hides itself behind some big ugly baboon for no fucking reason whatsoever. It's not only painful, frustrating, irritating but really sad to see a man like Song play in the same Arsenal midfeild where over the years, players like Petit, Vieira, Edu, Gilberto, Parlour, Cesc et al have given the word 'classy' a new Arsenal definition. The guy doesn't give a single through ball in the entire game. In fact, he doesn't give a single pass ahead of himself in the entire game. The guy can't do a proper tackle. The guy can't run faster than a handicapped tortoise. The guy can't cleanly head the ball. The guy can't shoot the fucking football, man, that is actually scary. In fact I have never seen him shooting, Thanks heaven because I don't want him to clear the goal-line and send the ball to Highbury or something! And that would be some tribute, seriously!

But at the end of it, why blame him? He is fucking mediocre, no wait, he is bad, he is so bad, that he will not even get to play for a second division Calcutta football club. Then why does he play for Arsenal? Simple, because we don't have a fucking central defensive midfielder. Why? Because, the moron that Arsene Wenger is, he thinks Song is 'good enough'. I have had enough of it! He is not fucking good enough! He is not fucking good! He is not even mucking bad enough. He is a lazy, hopeless, disgusting, ugly, motherfucking cunt of a footballer. His father, his grand-father, great-grand-father, they never played football. They were farmers. They were cocoa farmers in barren lands of Cameroon. And one fine day, his one-eyed dad with three legs asked him to play football. This is how the convo went!
One-eyed Song: "Son, you should play football"
Ugly 16-yr old Alex: "But, father, I am a good-for-nothing son-of-a-gun"
One-eyed Song: "Son, that doesn't matter, you should just 'believe' that you can play football"

To this day, the little idiot tries to believe with all his hidden disbelief, that he can play football. Its a sad sad story I tell you. Oh, wait, it doesn't end there! This is what happened before one game of this season.

Hopeless Alex to Arsene: "Sir, I think I am a good-for-nothing son-of-a-gun"
Arsene: "Son, you should just 'believe' that you can play football, rest will take care of itself!"
Hopeless Alex: "But, sir, people laugh at me. I am a big waste. I can't do this. Please bring a good CDM like Xabi Alonso or someone"
Arsene: "Son, you don't understand. They won't work for me for just two meatloafs, a piece of half-eaten chicken and 23 Dollars a week."

And the sad story continues....

And yes, Arsenal are out of Champions League qualification. Nobody was interested to score and simply we didn't score. Van Persie missed, Vela missed, Gallas missed and Song is expecting a baby which from close reports, is actually a little mongoose! Very disturbing I tell you, for an Arsenal fan!

Season 2009-10, here we come! Amen!

London 'Bridge' is falling Down! :D

It is one of 'those' days for the Gooners! Now, 'those' days in this season actually gives you a very confused thought-process. Is it the after-match-day of a Fulham/Stoke/Sunderland/Aston Villa/Manchester City/Hull City where we sit down, heads hung, questioning what went wrong with our team? Or Is it the after-match-day of a Fenerbache/Manchester United/Chelsea where we put up a stupendous performance and we wonder 'How did we!!!'? Strange right? Today, I am talking about the latter. Feels good naah? Ohh, it sure does! :-D We have now beaten both Manchester United and Chelsea, the teams who have shared the Premiership for the last four years, two years each. And on the other hand, we have also lost to Stoke City, Hull City and a few others I have lost count of! Mind you, those two I mentioned, were not even in Top Division last season. So, what do we conclude from these? ...That we are struggling with our consistency, we are losing our focus in matches where we need to grind results, we are not getting motivated for these not-so-big matches. If we try to connect the matches we played, one at The Emirates against The Red Devils and the one against The Blues at Bridge, we see our team tremendously motivated and willing to put it across the teams at any cost. So, why do we miss this certain 'cutting edge' in other matches where teams sit back and defend? Pretty simple, we don't have 'that' experienced head in the middle who'll be like..."Listen guys, we won't be able to play our free-flowing game today, these guys will sit back and defend, so we need to take our chances, some of us will have to make those runs inside the box, give those diagonal crosses into the D, make that extra-effort of winning headers, try our best to clear loose balls without any show-boating, basically a little bit of dirt needs to be thrown into our beautiful policy of beautiful football. You see!" Yes, it is that simple.

All said and done, nothing is in our hands, we can't even wait for another 30 days and guarantee ourselves a solid CDM alongside our captain. We just need to respect whatever Wenger thinks is good for the team. We'll have to hope that Cesc can motivate our team everytime we get on to that field.
And finally, well done boys! Brilliant performance. And Van Persie, for that second strike of yours and the way you handled the question about Gallas in the post-match interview. **RESPECT** :-D

Go Gunners!

..in HIM we trust?.. Do we??

OK, yeah, it's a crisis! It's a mad crisis! It is a crisis of titanic proportions! Do I sound cynical enough, or do I need to repeat the above lines 666 times to make it sound Cynically Satanic, whatever that might mean!!?!!

The entire situation revolves round one man and he is none other than our beloved Lord Arsene Wenger! This man managed two teams in two different eras!
The first team had these fellows in his arsenal:

Thierry Henry
Dennis Bergkamp
Nwanka Kanu
Robert Pires
Ray Parlour
Freddie Ljunberg
Patrick Vieira
Gilberto Silva
Edu
Sylvian Wiltord
Lauren
Sol Campbell
Kolo Toure
Ashley Cole
Jens Lehmann

Ladies and Gentleman, the team above, also known, ok, no, feared as 'The Invincibles' won the League in style. Why did they win? They had a steely determination. They had massive, massive quality. They had experience. They were feared by opponents, plain and simple!

The second team that our Lord Wenger manages, looks something like this:

Emanuel Adabayor
Robin Van Persie
Nikolas Bendtner
Samir Nasri
Abou Diaby
Denilson
Alex Song
Cesc Fabregas
Theo Walcott
Emanuel Eboue
Bacary Sagna
Kolo Toure
William Gallas
Gael Clichy
Michael Almunia

Yes, the team above is supposed to win the league. Come on, give me a break! If you sit down and start comparing both the teams, it'll give you cold shivers. What there was? What we have now? It is tragic, I tell you! The only common element between the two teams is one Arsene Wenger, his belief stays the same, his concept of passing football stays the same, but unfortunately the players have changed, and we don't have the team of world-class players(except for one poor thing called Cesc Fabregas) anymore, neither do we have experience to hold these young lot together! Young bloods are like new-born birds, they want to fly, they have the potential to fly high, but their parents don't let them, they surround them, they cover them and slowly and eventually these newly-borns are let to fly.

Pretty simple to understand! But, what matters is, one man, one obdurate man doesn't understand! Yes, there is a flaw now, a big flaw, it is evident! Come January transfer window, if the cheque-book is not taken out, we'll have to be satisfied with a fourth finish, if we play some really consistent football, that is! Now, is that enough for a mighty club like Arsenal? It is left to Lord Arsene Wenger to ponder about! In him, we trust, it seems! :|

Lot of thoughts and Hull and Porto and Sunderland!

Yes, we are in a middle of a "sea-saw performance world", losing and winning and almost losing, proving that consistency with young stars ain't really easy!
Okay, now you'll throw in the logic of last season! But, last season we had highly experienced Rosicky for the first part of the season, we had Eduardo scoring goals in that same first part, we had a very experienced Brazilian who had captained his national team, Gilberto Silva, we had Alex Hleb, already meshed into the Arsenal side after three seasons and adept at getting past defenders, and of course, we had Mat Flamini, who could run all day, play box-to-box and give Forrest "Hanks" a run for his money!! Add to that mighty experienced Lehmann, though he spent most of the season on the bench.

Now, we have lost all those above players, and we have kids just leaving school and joining Arsenal to compete against the likes of stalwarts like Michael Ballack, Frank Lampard, John Terry, Christiano Ronaldo, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Gary Neville, Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Xabi Alonso! NO kidding!!

I'll make things easier for Wenger by listing down our problem areas in order of importance.

1) First and foremost, we don't have a captain! A person who can lead from the front in all situations, driving the team forward and shouting out instructions whenever needed. Tony did it, Patrick did it, so did Thierry and Gilberto! Now, we have a moron in the middle of our defence who claims to be our captain because he wears the arm-band. Cesc wanted to wear it, but William slapped him, gave him three lollipops along with a Xbox 360. Cesc is quiet to this day! Gallas makes mistakes every match, cries like a Radiohead fan, and jumps in the air as high as the tallest living midget on earth!

Solution: Pass the armband to Kolo.

2) Secondly, we lack a central midfield maestro who sits in front of the Back Four like the Rock of Gibraltar. He tells Cesc..."Go Son, play your football, don't look back, I am here to stop Roonorresogba if he comes to this area of the field". He is like a Xabi Alonso. He is like a Owen Hargraves. He is like a Michael Essien. Tireless! Fearless! Brilliant!

Solution: Develop Alex Song, give him steroids, drugs, develop him fast, before maybe, the next match against Everton! OR, wait and buy a 25+ good CDM in the January transfer window. Spend for Crissakes!

3) We need a lot of width when we are blocked and locked in matches against teams who wants to sit in their half and defend. Like say, Sunderland, Bolton, Blackburn!
We need Nasri and Theo to run across the full backs and send in as many crosses as required. Sagna crosses pretty good but Clichy is pretty awful with crosses. He needs to understand why Evra is preferred over him in the national team.

Solution: Against defensive teams, start with players like Nasri, godammit!

4) We need a clinical finisher, selfish goal-poacher kinda striker. Ada is not, Persie is not! Bendtner is still not. Vela is very good, but still not a finished product.

Solution: Get TH14 back! Okay, am kidding, but get some sound striker or hope for Eduardo be the same guy he was before that dreadful match against Birmingham!

I think that is it! We solve those problems, we win the silverware, pretty simple, aye! :-D

And yes, we LOST AGAINST HULL CITY 1-2
we WON AGAINST FC PORTO 4-0
and WE DREW AGAINST SUNDERLAND 1-1

Bolton and Blades routed!

Bolton Wanderers seen off in style! 1-3
# Eboue 26, Bendtner 27, Denilson 8

Blades crushed in even more style! 0-6
# Bendtner 31, 42, Vela 44, 49, 86, Wilshere 57

Blackburn Rollered

A 4-0 scoreline and the third consecutive clean sheet for Arsenal, giving us a tally of 11 goals in last 4 matches . However, it must be mentioned that the scoreline didn't reflect an Arsenal dominance - the defense was way too shaky, as Gallas and Kolo struggled against the strong Roberts and the tall Santa Cruz. Luckily for us, Santa Cruz was not in his element, spurning chance after chance despite his consistent ability to make the center backs sweat profusely. Despite their physical game, our quality was too good for the Ewood Park outfit.

Match Result: Blackburn Rovers lose to Arsenal 0-4(Van Persie 9', Ade 45' 78'[pen] 89')

Almunia - Did not have much work to do, and was really fortunate with the Rover's frontline poor shot conversion. However, his anticipation and positioning was very good during set pieces, and he made an excellent save off a Benny McCarthy low shot. 6/10

Sagna - As usual, he played to his potential. Had mixed results when dealing with Gamst Perdensen and Warnock on the left, but overall a decent game. 7/10

Toure - Had no clue to dealing with the tall and strong Santa Cruz, but made a very crucial save by slightly heading a powerful shot from the forward out of harm's way. He clearly cannot defend against tall forwards - his inability to clear a cross despite being in front of Santa Cruz proves this
5/10

Gallas - the captain as usual didn't inspire confidence in the defense, and was found wanting on many occassions. I wonder why Wenger still persists with him. He can defend well only in panic mode, but thats the last thing any Arsenal fan wants. 4/10

Clichy - struggled to cope up with the physical aspect of the match, losing the ball to rough gameplay by the huge midfielders in blue and white. However, his attacking was as usual good. 6/10

Walcott - The lad was high on confidence after a cool hattrick against Croatia, and he produced an amazing run to give a well crafted assist for RVP to put in the back of the net. His pace negated the defenders physical approach and caused panic on the left flank. 7.5/10

Fabregas - Had a relatively quiet match, but his presence alone was enough to inspire the Arsenal attack. He needs a player like Flamini who can give him the freedom to move forward without worrying about the midfield. Appeared more active after Song came on the pitch. 6/10

Denilson - the lad provided a good cross for Ade to head his first goal of the season. But he still has to work on his role as a DM, losing the ball at times and making risky tackles. His passes were far better this time, and he can improve his overall game. 6.5/10

Eboue - He continued his good form, making incisive cuts in the defense and providing some good tackles. His powerful on-target shot came as a surprise to many, showing glimpses of what he can actually do. However, his dive to win the penalty was disgraceful to say the least, and he even injured himself while diving. When is Wenger gonna tell Eboue to distinguish football from swimming? :| 7/10

Van Persie - Van the Man was once again in the thick of action - an excellent side footed goal from Walcott's assists shows why he's one of the best forwards. However, he was guilty of being wasteful as well, like his previous matches. If he can regain his full form, then Arsenal will be unstoppable. 8/10

Ade - The hattrick hero of the match. However, all the goals were due to the midfield and an Eboue dive, along with the disinterested Blackburn defence. His goal celebration was forced to say the least, as though he was trying to convince the fans about his loyalty to Arsenal. An ok game overall. 7/10

Subs:-

Song - came on for Walcott, and his inclusion enabled Fabregas to be more expressive. He was technically very good and provided an ideal foil for the CAMs. 6/10

Ramsey - The lad from Cardiff came on for an injured Eboue, and showed glimpses of his solidity against the Balckburn ruffians. The icing on the cake was his excellent throughball to Ade for the fourth goal! 6.5/10

Wilshere - Became the youngest player on the pitch, substituting for RVP. Not much to say about his performance since his arrival was rather late, but he seems a good prospect. 4/10

Overall, a morale booster for the outfit as they take on Dynamo Kiev in an away encounter on Wednesday. 6.5/10

thrashing the Magpies

Fantastic Stuff! Reminds me of the finished-product team of the early 2000. Boy, if this team can pull up their socks and give us such performances week in and week out, we are in for 'some' entertainment.


Result:
Arsenal bt Newcastle United 3-0

Almunia: Just had to make a few saves, and was pretty confident on those! Wasn't involved otherwise(wasn't reqd.). Good for us! 5/10

Sagna: We didn't require our Full-backs yesterday! Our midfield was in rampage. Sagna still did some decent link-up play with Eboue and made life quite miserable for the Magpies! 6/10

Toure: What a slap on the face of critics! Superb performance, mostly attacking-wise, wasn't reqd. to defend a lot. There was a spring in his feet and the malaria looked a thing of past. Had a terrific shot on goal from far. 7/10

Gallas: Looked charged up, positive and was understandably sharp in tackles, was even involved in attacks. Good work! 6.5/10

Clichy: As always, did amazing overlaps! Crosses were neat too, the guy worked on it! Looks like, Nasri and Clichy are playing together for centuries, their link-up is already sparkling! 7/10

Eboue: Oops, I take back my 'peanut-brain' today! The guy wasn't his self, brilliant runs, dribbles and that mouth-watering back-heel to Persie, he did it all. Looked threatening while attacking and calm and composed while defending! 7.5/10

Cesc: Well, if Cesc is playing, the team looks much more composed, much more flamboyant while attacking. Cesc was exceptional with tackles too, a side of his game that has improved(One very bad tackle though, but that is OKAY!). As usual, gave some neat passes, but he is still to get back to his best! 6.75/10

Denilson: To me, he was the only weak-link in the whole Arsenal display of classy football last night. No hard feelings and nothing to take away from his hard-working performance and his exceptional run and goal, the guy still has lot to improve on technically! 5.5/10

Nasri: Man, we have got our man, we have got our Pires back. In fact, the run and outside of the right-foot swerving pass is Rosicky-like. Nasri is a hard worker and a no-nonsense player and I would want him to take a lot of free-kicks. He is pretty good with it. And yeah, I just loved him for that trick-trip on Barton. Muhahaha, now we are TALKING! Who's next? :-D 7.5/10

Ada: Well, he played as a midfielder almost and he excelled in it. I an always amazed at how much the guy can run, some really good passes, especially the first-time one to Denilson. Pretty impressive performance. 7/10

Persie: Ahh, finally, HE is back. Superb performance, tremendous work-rate! Dribbles, runs, nice free-kick, terrific corners. He did it all. But, inspite of this terrific perfo, I still feel is only 90%. And damn, I hear he is going through a X-ray now, hope we don't have a bad news. We can't afford to have one! 8/10

Subs:

Vela: Boyy, what a breath of fresh air. The guy could have easily scored. Vela and Theo can be our surprise package this season. Loved his cameo performance, especially one neato exchange with Cesc. 6.5/10

Song: Too small a perfo to really talk about. Looked quite sharp, hope he gets a full-start next match. 5.5/10

Theo: Really a terror for defenders. I dont know what he did on the right-hand side corner, but that was one heck of a trick, looked sharp. In fact, Theo always play well as a sub. He is more of a 20-minute special player, a super-sub! 6/10

Overall, very impressive performance. If we can improve on this, we can be the team to beat! The same team which drew with ManU couldn't touch us, that is heartening! :-D
7.5/10